Cute Pirate Joke But A Bit Long ...

[maria]

This made me chuckle and also reminded me of resh. 

I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!"
The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, which the captain put on and led the crew to battle the pirate boarding party.

Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending boarding parties. The crew cowered in fear, but the captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!"

Once again the battle was on. However, the Captain and his crew repelled both boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred.

Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's occurrences when an ensign looked to the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?"

The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, exhorted, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the wound and thus, you men will continue to fight unafraid."

The men sat in silence marveling at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way.

The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my brown pants!"

[dorbel]

Two pirates meet in a tavern. "Why Bill, I see you been in the wars a bit. Since I last saw you, you've got a wooden leg, a hook instead of a hand and a patch over your eye. What happened.?"
"Ah well" says Bill, "We tried to take a ship on the Spanish Main and some bugger fired a cannon ball at us that took orf me leg, so the bosun made me another out of wood."
"Well what about the hook Bill?"
"Yes, well that was about a week later when the Royal Navy boarded us and being a bit slow like, what with the wooden leg, some silly bugger cut off me 'and with a sword, so the armourer made me this 'ere steel 'ook instead"
"Dear me Bill, you have been unlucky. What about the patch over your eye?"
"Ah yes, well I'm blind in that eye now"
"How come?"
"Well I looked up in the rigging and a bloody sea gull shat in my eye."
"But you don't go blind from seagull shite!"
"No, but it was the first day with the 'ook see"

[socksey]

HAR! HAR!   

socksey



"He who would search for pearls must dive below." - John Dryden

[itsatarifa]

Feeling ancient and weary a pirate went to see the ships surgeon.

"We'll take yer lug 'oles off" he said "it'll take ears off you"




_{earlier version deleted - Zorba}