Dictionary For Women's Personal Ads

[mrbond]

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

40-ish...................................49

Adventurous........................Slept with everyone

Athletic...............................No tits

Average looking...................Ugly

Beautiful............................Pathological liar

Contagious Smile.................Does a lot of pills

Emotionally Secure..............On medication

Feminist.............................Fat

Free spirit...........................Junkie

Friendship first..................Former slut

Fun...................................Annoying

New-Age...........................Body hair in the wrong places

Old-fashioned....................No BJs

Open-minded......................Desperate

Outgoing............................Loud and Embarrassing

Passionate........................Sloppy drunk

Professional......................B1tch

Voluptuous.......................Very Fat

Large frame......................Hugely Fat

Wants Soul mate..................Stalker

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = No

2. No = Yes

3. Maybe = No

4. We need = I want..

5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry

6. We need to talk = You're in trouble

7. Sure, go ahead = You better not

8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later

9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!

10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH:

1. I am hungry = I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you = Let's have sex now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you

8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you

9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you

10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you

11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay


   

[webrunner]

 

[Zorba]

Mmm, I love having dinner, going to the movies and dancing   And when I don't do all this, I get bored!    

[diane]

The bottom line question is......have those dirty dishes finally been washed??      

[adamosad]