Golf With The Wife

[mrbond]

A man staggers into an emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.

Naturally,the doctor asks him what happened.

"Well, it was like this," said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a pasture of cows."

"We went to look for them, and while I was rooting around noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it-- stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt."

"That's when I made my big mistake."

"What did you do?" asks the doctor.

"Well, I lifted the cow's tail again and yelled to my wife, Hey,
this looks like yours!"

"I don't remember much after that"!

       

[adamosad]

A Dinner Conversation (Relative with Golf)

WIFE: What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?ââ,¬Â
HUSBAND: ââ,¬Å"Definitely not!ââ,¬Â
WIFE: ââ,¬Å"Why not- don't you like being married?ââ,¬Â
HUSBAND: ââ,¬Å"Of course I do.ââ,¬Â
WIFE: ââ,¬Å"Then why wouldn't you remarry?ââ,¬Â
HUSBAND: ââ,¬Å"Okay, I'd get married again.ââ,¬Â
WIFE: (with a hurtful look on her face) ââ,¬Å"You would?ââ,¬Â
HUSBAND: (makes loud groan)
WIFE: ââ,¬Å"Would you let her sleep in our bed?ââ,¬Â
HUSBAND: ââ,¬Å"Where else would we sleep?ââ,¬Â
WIFE: ââ,¬Å"Would you replace my pictures with hers?ââ,¬Â
HUSBAND: ââ,¬Å"That would seem like the proper thing to do.ââ,¬Â
WIFE: ââ,¬Å"Would you play golf with her?ââ,¬Â
HUSBAND: ââ,¬Å"I guess so.ââ,¬Â
WIFE: ââ,¬Å"Would you let her use my golf clubs?ââ,¬Â
HUSBAND: ââ,¬Å"No, she's left handed.ââ,¬Â
WIFE: () ---Silence---
HUSBAND: ââ,¬Å"...Oh myââ,¬Â¦.ââ,¬Â