Heat dynamics & Religion

[mrbond]

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
variant.



One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So
we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the
rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume
that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls
are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at
the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these
religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you
will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and
since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project
that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we
can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because
Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in
Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand
proportionately as souls are added.
This
gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls
in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa
during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I
sleep with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with her
last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell
is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this
theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not
accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only
Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains
why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

 

mrbond